I am happy I sent my blog to almost everyone I know. The feedback I have gotten has made me feel incredibly loved. Thank you. I have a new reason to add for blogging on the "about Julie" page: to keep in touch with people I care about that are far away.
I am also still unemployed. Just a little background: I quit my stable job at the end of the school year because I got another one I like a million, GAZILLION times better but since it involves a fundraising process I was planning on getting a temporary job in the meantime. In Semptember, I got a call from a not-very-nice-but-is-in-the-position-to-get-me-a-job-so-I-have-to-be-fake-and-nice person telling me he had a full-time substitution teaching position (which was EXACTLY what I was hoping for) but I had to start right away (two days from when he was calling) and of course he couldn't wait a week. I, however, was in the Azores at my parent's house and was just about to start the week I had reserved to shut myself inside and not see the light of day so that I could MAKE myself write my thesis. So basically I had to choose: job and money or write my thesis and not pay late fines every month like I had been doing for the past year. After a decision-making process of intense pain and suffering, I decided on the thesis and explained the situation to the guy and he said he would probably have something else in a month. Well, it's been well over a month and when I call him his secretary tells me he has my number and I shouldn't call back. Jerk.
I am trying not to stress out about it and learn to be patient. The only downfall is that my money will run out by the end of the month and I will probably have to ask my parents for help (BIG bummer). I was thinking yesterday, though, that all of last year I had been thinking "I will be so happy when I finish my thesis", "my life will be complete", "I will feel free"... and now that I finished and am relieved about that I have a new "problem" I am worrying about: not having a job. And I'm ignoring all the wonderful things that came with my decision, like for example:
· turning in and being proud of my thesis
· having had more vacation time that allowed me time with my family and a week in the Azores with Danny
· time when I came back to Lisbon to establish routines and FINALLY, for the first time, get some disciplined habits like waking up at the same time, running, making meal plans and praying
· realizing what relationships are important in my life and trying to figure out how to make time for them
· realizing that work is not the most important thing, that it's definitely not what would make me want to survive after a plane crash
· realizing that my routines, simple pleasures and relationships are what would
· feeling happy and really alive, more than I have ever felt since I have been in Portugal
So why worry so much? I know God can give me a job when He wants to, I just am having a really hard time having to ask for money and telling people I am unemployed (especially my landlady and cousin... embarrassing! humiliating!)