Amélie

I am happy I sent my blog to almost everyone I know. The feedback I have gotten has made me feel incredibly loved. Thank you. I have a new reason to add for blogging on the "about Julie" page: to keep in touch with people I care about that are far away.

I am also still unemployed. Just a little background: I quit my stable job at the end of the school year because I got another one I like a million, GAZILLION times better but since it involves a fundraising process I was planning on getting a temporary job in the meantime. In Semptember, I got a call from a not-very-nice-but-is-in-the-position-to-get-me-a-job-so-I-have-to-be-fake-and-nice person telling me he had a full-time substitution teaching position (which was EXACTLY what I was hoping for) but I had to start right away (two days from when he was calling) and of course he couldn't wait a week. I, however, was in the Azores at my parent's house and was just about to start the week I had reserved to shut myself inside and not see the light of day so that I could MAKE myself write my thesis. So basically I had to choose: job and money or write my thesis and not pay late fines every month like I had been doing for the past year. After a decision-making process of intense pain and suffering, I decided on the thesis and explained the situation to the guy and he said he would probably have something else in a month. Well, it's been well over a month and when I call him his secretary tells me he has my number and I shouldn't call back. Jerk.

I am trying not to stress out about it and learn to be patient. The only downfall is that my money will run out by the end of the month and I will probably have to ask my parents for help (BIG bummer). I was thinking yesterday, though, that all of last year I had been thinking "I will be so happy when I finish my thesis", "my life will be complete", "I will feel free"... and now that I finished and am relieved about that I have a new "problem" I am worrying about: not having a job. And I'm ignoring all the wonderful things that came with my decision, like for example:

·         turning in and being proud of my thesis

·         having had more vacation time that allowed me time with my family and a week in the Azores with Danny

·         time when I came back to Lisbon to establish routines and FINALLY, for the first time, get some disciplined habits like waking up at the same time, running, making meal plans and praying

·         realizing what relationships are important in my life and trying to figure out how to make time for them

·         realizing that work is not the most important thing, that it's definitely not what would make me want to survive after a plane crash

·         realizing that my routines, simple pleasures and relationships are what would

·         feeling happy and really alive, more than I have ever felt since I have been in Portugal

·         having time to start a blog, which made me feel creative in a way I haven't felt since I moved to Portugal

So why worry so much? I know God can give me a job when He wants to, I just am having a really hard time having to ask for money and telling people I am unemployed (especially my landlady and cousin... embarrassing! humiliating!)

Meanwhile, in other exciting events of my life, I helped my sister make a great dinner yesterday. Quiche and a yummy pea and mint soup:

  

And we watched Amélie. GREAT movie. Apparently everyone's favorite. Here are my favorite things about the movie:

·         I have Amélie's haircut.

·         She also lives alone.

·         Her boyfriend kind of looked like and reminded me of Danny.

·         I loved the "simple pleasures" she had, like putting her hand in a bag of beans at the market.

·         Her doing completely random and weird acts of love for the people around her made me really want to start doing things like that.

·         How at the porn/strip shop where her boyfriend worked the the lady asked him why he was so interested in knowing more about Amélie (they hadn't met yet) and he said, "Because of that, the mystery."... to which she replied, "Right, you don't find that here." (mystery! totally Theology of the Body!)

Having a blog is definitely making me appreciate my life and myself just a teeny bit more. In the words of a person I highly admire, "I hope that everyday you find peace in being yourself." Beautiful, huh?