I hate goodbyes

Goodbye home. So comfortable it feels I've always lived here. Where am I leaving to? Oh yeah, the place I live 90% of the time.

Goodbye baby Jesus.

My mom's veranda and beautiful flowers

Baby Jesus that accompanied me in tears and laughter, heated political debates over lunch, hugs from baby cousins, coffee everyday after lunch, an sweet elderly priest that asked who my family was before my confession (awkward!), rolling green hills and discovering that love is accepting the other person's imperfections.

I hate, hate, hate goodbyes. They are always painful and tearful. But it's better to have something good to say goodbye to than to have nothing good at all, right?

More limpets (lapas) at lunch today

Barnacles, another Azorean treat ;)

Christmas blues

After my fourth post about how much I love and can't get enough of Christmas, I got sick of Christmas. It's true. I was overwhelmed with the "present-giving", impatient with family and just kind of sad for a couple of days. It was a bad case of the Christmas blues. :( I turned a little into this guy:

Yesterday I felt a little better. I reread a book I got this summer. The great person that gave it to me said it was a book to read and reread over and over again. I must admit I think he is right. I listed the book on the "About Martha and Mary" page on this blog. Here are some of the things I read this time that really spoke to me:
 
"The first goal of spiritual combat, that toward which our efforts must above all be directed, is not always obtain a victory (over our temptations, our weaknesses, etc.), rather it is to learn to maintain peace of heart under all circumstances, even in the case of defeat."

"Saint John the Cross expresses this same truth in other terms: 'All things were given to me from the moment when I no longer sought them.'"

"God asks for an attitude of detachment at the level of the heart, a disposition to give Him everything, but He doesn't necessarily 'take' everything."

"A desire that causes us to lose peace, even if the thing desired is excellent in itself, is not of God. It is necessary to want and desire, but in a free and detached way, in abandoning to God the realization of these desires, as He desires and when He wishes."

What really helped today was watching a movie that totally answered a lot of questions and problems I've been dealing with recently. I mean, it was so loud and clear it was almost as if someone had made that movie specifically for my life right now. Fools Rush In, with Salma Hayek.

It gave me a new outlook on what's important. My favorite part was when she visits her great-grandmother in Mexico, who she has a special connection with, and that great-grandmother tells her she hasn't been acting out of love but out of fear. She said, "If you really want to know love, you have to surrender to it." Love it. It's my 2011 new year's resolution.

SURRENDER

Why I love Christmas pt 4

Reason #4 why I love Christmas: presents

I started this year trying to make only homemade gifts and cards. I think it is great and personal. 

Brownies for my cousins

 
I somewhat like receiving presents, like everyone I guess, but this winter I realized how wonderful it is to have Christmas in the middle of the winter. It feels especially good to "receive" and be spoiled in the middle of a difficult, cold period. After trying to save money, be disciplined, deal with solitude and patience, Christmas is like an oasis in the desert for me. It's nice to eat out, relax and have free time.

Limpets (lapas) at a restaurante yesterday,
a traditional food here from the Azores

The greatest Christmas gift, as a priest said yesterday at mass, is from the real Santa Claus, our Father in heaven. And he gave us Jesus, the greatest gift of all. Christmas is a difficult time for a lot of people, that don't have family or feel sad, and even for me it is difficult sometimes not to be overwhelmed by the hurt and pain that you see when family is united. If you are hurting or even if you're not, I encourage you to read or hear about Jesus, because he really can cure all pain or sadness. He is the answer to our deepest desires, all the promises God made in the Old Testament. He has made me a new person, answered my dreams in wild ways and I am so blessed to be able to know the greatest gift of all. 

A rainbow outside my window the other day,
here in the Azores

Why I love Christmas pt 3

Reason #3 why I love Christmas: decorations, projects and beauty

I think it was Dostoyevsky that has a quote that beauty will save the world. Beauty is definitely a gift from above and I think it is so important for the soul. I don't like decorating when it involves buying expensive things, but I do like making things (including yourself) look the best they can in the simplest way possible. Christmas can be a time to make homemade gifts, cook/bake more, make our houses look prettier than they usually do and appreciate small pleasures like a fireplace or snow more.

A recent quote from NieNie's blog:

"I love this time of year when all of us everywhere do everything we can to make our homes look pretty. We decorate with glitter and sparkles and lights."

Homemade Christmas cards I made!

My mom's poinsetta and wheat

Why I love Christmas pt 2

Reason #2 why I love Christmas: the message of Christmas

I find it so ironic consumerism and materialism dominate "wordly" Christmas spirit when for me the message is the complete opposite.

"What a story! Jesus did not consider equality with God something to be grasped. Instead, Jesus, who could have come as the most powerful monarch whenever He wanted, invaded human history as a wee baby in an occupied country in the middle of the Roman Empire. And why did He do that? For us, so 'that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life' (John 3:16). I don't ever want to forget that. I don't want the truth of the Gospel to be a holiday thing. It's got to be 24 hours a day, seven days a week and 365 days a year. And if I have to put on some Christmas carols in July, I will do that." -- Denny Rydberg, Inside Young Life, 2005

I love the story of God that became a little, tiny newborn baby. That he chose a poor, young, unmarried woman to be his mother, not someone that had read a million books on child psychology. That he was born in the most humble conditions, without any cute baby clothes or strollers. I love how the people that came to visit him weren't rich or important, but were crazy magi and simple shepherds. I love how God was born right in the middle of family life, and through the simple faithfulness of a young couple. I love how the Christmas message is one of silence, poverty and most especially a journey.

I love this video about the digital story of Christmas. Have you seen it? It's so cute! Thank you to the wonderful people that sent it to me.

The Digital Story of the Nativity (English)

História do Natal Digital (Português)

Why I love Christmas pt 1

Ever since I was little, I think I have loved Christmas. I used to play Christmas songs on the piano all through the season and my family would tell me "that's enough!" (they're not big Christmas fans :D)

I still love Christmas. I really do! I hate the presents and consumerism part, but I just try to not buy presents (homemade is best!) and not let that ruin it for me.

Reason #1 why I love Christmas: going home

My parents moved from the US to the Azores five years ago and it took me a while to feel like going to the Azores was "home". I don't have any childhood friends here and of course Turlock is still "home" but going to my parents' house is wonderful. Especially since I live far away, I appreciate it more.  I love being with my parents and sister, but also with cousins and aunts and uncles. Family is never ideal, you can't choose them and sometimes it's difficult to get along with them, but family is family and deserve being a special priority because of that. I am so thankful for the family I have.

I love how everytime I get into the airport for Christmas break it looks like I imagine Ireland must look like. It's overcast and everywhere you look are rolling hills and lots of green.

On the drive home...



...taken from the car.

I love how I am greeted by the world's cutest dog when I get home and I love how we get to hang out and take walks. 

I love being well taken care of, having yummy food to eat whenever I want, being warm, having lots of comfort and not having to worry about money. Of course I love not having to work. I love looking at my adorable baby pictures in albums. I love oohing and aahing over how adorable I was in my baby albums. I love driving my parents' car.  Yay for home and family!

Cod fish / Bacalhau à gomes sá

I really love this recipe because it's a very traditional Portuguese dish, and uses their beloved salty cod fish/bacalhau, but is also super easy to make and very delicious. It's also good for guests I think!

The ingredients:

About 500g bacalhau (preferably shredded)

3-4 large potatoes, chopped

4 eggs, hardboiled

1 onion, chopped or sliced into rounds

2 garlic cloves, chopped

1 teaspoon salt (only if necessary)

1 tablespoon oregano

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

The recipe:

I used half a bag of frozen, unsalted bacalhau (from Pingo Doce! :D). If you buy dry, salted bacalhau, you will have to soak it in water for at least 24 hours, changing the water 2-3 times throughout that time period. Then it will be ready.

If you want an extra flavorful touch, you can pour hot milk (almost boiling) over the drained bacalhau after having soaked it in water. Let it soak in the milk for at least 20 minutes, then use it in recipe.

Boil the potatoes for about 5-7 minutes (they'll still cook more in the oven...) and place them in a greased oven dish. I boiled the eggs after the potatoes in the same water and set them aside.

Saute the onions in a few tablespoons olive oil for 10-15 minutes or longer if you want to carmelize them. Add the garlic for a couple of minutes.

Pour the onion and garlic over the potatoes, 3-4 extra tablespoons of olive oil, the bacalhau and the spices and mix well. Put in oven for about 20 minutes.

Then top with hardboiled eggs and fresh parsely.

Enjoy!

(Have you heard of the book and expression "Potatoes, not prozac"? The idea is that many people deprive themselves of carbohydrates when really some like potatoes are really healthy and help regulate brain function. All I know is I love potatoes!)

Scrambled eggs and guacamole

I loved this recipe at Iowa Girl Eats to make an easy, actually VERY easy, "mexican inspired" dish. I had to definitely and immediately include it in my mexican week meal plan.

The ingredients:

4 eggs, beaten

4 tablespoons ricotta/cottage cheese/requeijão

1/2 green bell pepper, chopped (or green onion)

2 teaspoons hot sauce

salt and pepper

1 1/2 tomatoes and 1-2 green bell pepper, chopped (for topping)

Fresh parsely or cilantro

1 ripe avocado

Juice from 1/2 lime or lemon

salt

1 tablespoon garlic powder

1/4 onion, chopped

1/2 tomato, chopped

The recipe:

Mix eggs, cheese, 1/2 bell pepper, hot sauce, salt and pepper in a bowl. Pour into a hot, greased pan and prepare as scrambled eggs.

To make guacamole, mash one avocado with a fork and mix in remaining ingredients (lime, salt, garlic powder, 1/4 onion, 1/2 tomato).

Serve together and top with chopped tomatoes, bell pepper and parsely. You can put it all in a tortilla, eat it with chips or just as it is!

Kids

I hate it when people spoil kids. It's like ruining something pure and perfect. I have been kind of "burned" with having to teach kids, mainly because teaching kids is a lot different than playing with them and I didn't have any experience. So it was a disaster. Now I'm teaching them again and it's going... pretty well. It's actually like a miracle. I have perfected all my techniques of bribing and threatening to an art and they are totally motivated. And growing on me.

I read a quote from Reese Witherspoon one time about how when people have kids they are super worried about teaching them things and filling them up with ideas. In reality, she said, we should listen more because they are born "knowing nothing" but have so many things to teach us. Like Michelle Duggar said in a video I watched of hers, God gives us kids to teach us not for us to teach them!

So I am supposedly "teaching" kids English but they have already been teaching me. After ONE class, I started getting some hugs. I used to tell people I read about how we need 12 hugs a day (touch) to be keep healthy and the normal reaction is, "TWELVE?! If I give one hug a day, it's a good day." But kids... they give hugs all the time. They touch all the time. The other day at recess I saw a little first grade boy running after a girl and hitting her bottom and I was just about to interfere and talk to him about sexual harrassment when I noticed she was smiling and laughing. It was totally innocent. Like how some parents play with their kids. It was cute.

The smallest thing makes them happy. We do these "exercises" at the beginning of every class which basically consists of me giving them commands in English (like stand up, sit down, eat, drink) and they act it out. Any adult would be horrified and feel like they were being treated like a dog. Everytime I do it with them though, the whole class starts smiling and you can tell they can barely contain their excitement. It's cute.

The best thing of all is how naturally they give or tell you they like you. You will instantly know if they like your class because they will ask you "do we have english today?" and then do a big "YES!" with their arm. They definitely don't try to hide their feelings. And if they really like you, they will tell you "you look pretty today" or draw while you're talking. And when you yell at them for drawing while you're talking and tell them to put it away and pay attention, they will give you this:

And it will melt your heart.

Running in the rain

This morning I went running in the rain. I don't know if I've ever done that. At least not on purpose. It was really cool. It kept at a gentle sprinkle the whole time. When I got to the beach, I not only saw other people running in the rain but also old men playing soccer in the sand. And in the rain. Awesome.

On my way back I asked God to take my anger, seeing as I've been mad at my boyfriend since Sunday and it had only been getting worse. Anger is an issue I deal with a lot, especially in the last year. I realize it is something that just grows and grows, you can't get rid of it yourself. So I asked God to take it. The music I was listening to on my mp3 was telling me to "look up, there is more than you can see". So I looked up into the rain. I couldn't see anything.

Somehow, God did take my anger today. After talking, some laughter, some inspiration and yummy fish tacos, I feel a lot better. A lot more confident in God's love for me. That he is taking care of me and that things are happening for a reason, even though I can't see it right now. He really is working miracles in my life.

I feel a little lighter after being rained on! I feel so blessed to have God in my life. To have so many prayers answered lately. To be on a great adventure. I especially appreciate things turning out perfectly even though they aren't perfect. I feel happy to have someone so special in my life that I can talk to even when we don't understand each other. So open that he tries to understand me even though it's scary. So kind he wants to be with me regardless. So sweet he makes me smile.

I love this picture from my weekend retreat.
A miracle smiling at me. :)

Have you heard of the Duggar Family? I am inspired by them.
And are you a good person? Watch this video!

Fish tacos

I had never tried fish at mexican restaurants because the thought of fish and mexican kind of grossed me out. Then I tried these simple fish tacos at home and now I'm sold. Mexican makes anything better!

The ingredients:

8 tortillas

4 fish fillets (you can use my recipe here)

Sour cream

Shredded lettuce/spinach

Pico de gallo

Cheese

The recipe:

Cut your fish fillets in half:

Combine fish, shredded cheese, pico de gallo, spinach and sour cream in a tortilla. Actually, whatever you'd like. Maybe avocado?

Delish. :)

Priorities

Last week was a good/hectic week. I got two jobs in one day, put up my christmas decorations (see below) and went on the best retreat ever. I'm not feeling so "struck down" or dramatic lately. I didn't blog, which was somewhat disappointing. I admire people that have their lives so organized they blog at the same time 5 days a week, like most of the blogs I read on my sidebar. I admire Stephanie Nielson (nieniedialogues.com) because her life is so focused and her priorities are so clear, even just judging from her blog. She puts family and being a mother as number one. I admire Iowa Girl Eats (iowagirleats.com) because her life seems simple: food, exercise, rest and some close family members.

My life is a little more chaotic, even though I don't want it to be! Starting to work again made my to-do list go from three to ten things in a minute. Yesterday I thought, "I won't make lunch, I'll eat something frozen so I can do things on my to-do list." Then I caught myself. At the beginning of 2010 I tried to put the basic necessities (eat, sleep, exercise) as priorities and it made all the difference. So I decided to take my time yesterday and make lunch first. I didn't do the things on my to-do list but I had enough time to plan my classes and pray. This morning I thought, "I won't go running so I can stay home and do more things off my to-do list." (I know, why does this little piece of paper run my life?!) Then I caught myself. I didn't go where I thought I was going to go and had time afterwards to do things off the list.

I realized these last few days that my priorities should be:

1) God

2) food, sleep, exercise

3) work

Not what is easier and what was happening before the beginning of 2010 for me:

1) work

2) food, sleep, exercise

3) God

Poor God. We will die with our to-do lists still to do.

My mini tree

My nativity set

Veggie tacos

I make my soft-shelled tacos with tortillas, refried beans and a couple of vegetables. Here goes:

The ingredients:

(Refried beans:)

1 cans pinto beans

1/8 onion, chopped

1/4 cup water

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp cumin

cheese for sprinkling

(Veggies:)

1 zucchini, chopped; or sliced mushrooms

1/2 red bell pepper and 1/2 green bell pepper, sliced

salt and pepper, 1/2 teaspoon oregano, 1/2 teaspoon cumin

The recipe:

Fry the onion in a couple of tablespoons of olive oil for a few minutes. Add the beans and water.

Mash the beans with a fork or potato masher.

Until smooth.

Add salt and shredded cheese if you'd like.

Fry zucchini or mushrooms in a couple of tablespoons of olive oil for 7-10 minutes or until tender and juices gone. Season with salt and pepper, oregano and cumin.

Slice peppers and add to a very hot pan with a tablespoon of olive oil. You want the pan to be as hot as possible so that they will get a little blackened on the outside but remain crunchy (not soggy). Add to the other vegetables.

Use the ingredients plus pico de gallo to make a tostada, taco or nachos. You can add shredded lettuce (I used spinach), guacamole, more cheese or sour cream.

Enjoy!

Salsa / Pico de Gallo

This is how I make my pico de gallo, which I use in tacos or as an appetizer with nacho chips.

The ingredients:

4-5 tomatoes, chopped

1/4 onion, chopped

1-2 garlic cloves, chopped

1/2 green bell pepper, chopped

1 teaspoon salt

Juice of 1/2 lemon or lime

1 tablespoon hot pepper sauce (or chopped jalapenos if you have them)

Cilantro or parsely (if you have it!)

The recipe:

Mix all ingredients. Taste. Approve.

Homemade tortillas, tostadas or nachos

This takes a bit of work and time. I'm not sure if it saves that much money. But it's fun!

The ingredients:

1 cup white flour, 1 cup wheat flour

1/2 tablespoon salt

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/3 cup water (add more if needed)

1 tablespoon milk

4 tablespoons canola oil

The recipe:

First mix dry ingredients and wet ingredients separately.

Mix in half the liquid and stir. Mix in the other half and knead into a ball.

Separate into about 8 balls. (I doubled the recipe, that's why there are so many!)

Roll them out as thin as you can get them.

Fry without oil for 30 seconds each side. The less you fry them, the softer they'll be.

Voila!

To turn them into tostadas, fry them in oil (enough to cover bottom of pan) about 30 seconds to a minute each side.

To turn them into nachos, cut them into 8 parts.

Fry in oil (to cover bottom of pan) about 30 seconds to a minute each side. Sprinkle with salt as you start layering them on a plate. For a healthier version, bake them in a single layer after spraying with oil on both sides (or coating with a pastry brush) for 6-7 minutes.

Voila!

Ratatouille

This recipe isn't really Italian, but it's not really French either (real ratatouille doesn't have eggs and cheese I think...). And roasted vegetables + mozzarella cheese sounds pretty Italian, right?

The ingredients:

1 eggplant, peeled and chopped (I didn't have one so I used 2 zucchinis)

1 zucchini, chopped

1 red bell pepper, chopped

2-3 tomatoes

1 onion, two garlic cloves, chopped

1 teaspoon salt, black pepper, 1 teaspoon oregano

2-3 tablespoons olive oil

A ball of mozzarella cheese (a small bag)

4 eggs

The recipe:

Mix all ingredients together, except for the cheese and eggs, in a greased baking dish.

Roast in oven for 20-30 minutes. Add another tablespoon or two of oil and mix. Make four holes and carefully place eggs in holes. Cut up the mozzarella cheese and place it on top of the vegetables.

Put in oven for another ten minutes. The eggs should be done.

Serve with bread. Or don't. And enjoy!

Substitution ideas:

Use any other vegetables or colors of bell peppers. Add tomato sauce. Add more spices. Add fresh herbs.