Consideratio

Why is it that now that I decided to express gratitude every monday my feelings go the exact opposite direction? Why, instead of overflowing with gratitude, I could more easily list complaints?

Gratitude is not an easy thing. It doesn't come naturally. I think, especially in the hard, winter times, it's a gift from above and I can only ask for it to come more naturally to me.

Still, God is whispering to me. I'm too busy to hear! Too busy rushing, worrying about money and thinking about the future. God whispers quietly for me to refocus.

I am thankful for the 2nd grade teacher at my work, the only one that talks to me, waiting for me to finish today and asking if I needed I ride.

I am thankful for the wonderful people I will work with sometime in the near future.

I am thankful for the wonderful, huge things God makes happen without needing me at all.

For Him having everything under control.

For the sweet, open eyes of teenagers that give spontaneous hugs.

For finding firewood at the nearby Lidl (now to find the courage to make a fire! :P)

For health and having time/money/knowledge to take care of mine.

For the movie Science of Sleep I watched yesterday.

For playing and laughter.

For art and creativity, and for having a brilliant idea for a craft.

For the week seeming more manageable.

For the little creature that stayed with me this weekend, for teaching me about enjoying simple pleasures such as sunbathing and being vulnerable (showing your tummy in surrender)

For Pope Benedict's quote and for knowing I should rest in God (now to DO it?):

Do not become utterly absorbed in activism! There would be so much to do that one could be working on it constantly. And that is precisely the wrong thing. Not becoming totally absorbed in activism means maintaining consideratio — discretion, deeper examination, contemplation, time for interior pondering, vision, and dealing with things, remaining with God and meditating about God. One should not feel obliged to work ceaselessly; this in itself is important for everyone, too, for instance, every manager, too, and even more so for a Pope. He has to leave many things to others so as to maintain his inner view of the whole, his interior recollection, from which the view of what is essential can proceed. -Pope Benedict XVI, Light of the World, with Peter Seewald

My weekend guest and our matching sweaters