This morning a couple dropped me off at my house after a meeting and came into my house just to see it. I've had dinner at their house once and we aren't that close yet, but something weird got into me, and as we were standing by the door before they left I started talking and talking and talking and before I knew it I had told them my whole life story! All my relationship and life issues I've been thinking about lately. I made myself vulnerable.
Then my friend Sofia posted a video today on facebook I really liked about one of my favorite topics ever... vulnerability.
I am intrigued by the topic of vulnerability because it seems to hit at the very essence of living and loving. It is hard to be vulnerable, but you have to if you want to love someone. Like Saint Paul says, when I am weak, THEN I am strong. Kids are vulnerable, yet they are also a lot more resilient than adults. I came across vulnerability in my thesis, and it's beautiful in the Bible to see that God made himself vulnerable for us. Real love puts itself out there where there is a risk of getting hurt.
A few of my favorite quotes from this video:
- "Connection is why we're here. It's what gives meaning and purpose to our lives." (um Theology of the Body! It's what John Paul II calls communion of persons)
- "In order for connection to happen, we have to let ourselves be seen and really be seen."
- "Shame is easily understood as the fear of disconnection. Is there something about me that if other people know it or see it that I won't be worthy of connection? The things I can tell you about it: It's universal, we all have it, the only people that don't experience shame have no capacity for human empathy or connection. No one wants to talk about it and the less you talk about it the more you have it."
- "You know how blame is described in the research? A way to discharge pain and discomfort."
- Ways people describe vulnerability: "willingness to say I love you first, do something where there are no guarantees, invest in a relationship that may or may not work out"
- People that have love and belonging in their lives are those that feel they are worthy of love and belonging
I have been scared to say I love you first to people in general, wanting to be secure in knowing they like me before telling them how much I admire them. I want to let myself be really seen more, not trying to look perfect but showing my weaknesses, trials and real feelings.
How are you vulnerable?