Once I saw a TV show about recovering drug addicts and one girl's story really struck me. She said the hardest part about not taking drugs anymore was having to deal with her emotions. When she came home from a hard day at work, instead of taking drugs to make herself feel better, she had to let herself feel pain. Let herself feel sad, angry or hurt.
How many things to we do to avoid feeling negative emotions? I can think of a dozen off the top of my head. The catch, though, is that if you numb out the negative emotions, you take the positive emotions out along with them. In order to be open to joy, you have to be open to pain and all emotions are really gifts from God anyway. Something I've been learning... slowly.
So last week I felt angry and sad and had a few conflicts with important people in my life. It is SO hard to work through it, trying to accept pain. But as my wise, handsome boyfriend said, "I just realized why Jesus's suffering and death is called his passion. I used to think, what does that have to do with passion? But it has to do with love. Changing and suffering before giving Himself completely out of love." And it's what I'm experiencing in dating and also in life. This whole life is kind of a passion, a changing and a suffering in love before heaven. And the strongest people look suffering right in the face, and don't run away.
Or like Frida Kalho, they paint about it:
Or like Johnny Cash they sing about it. I'm so excited about learning to play the guitar and Johnny Cash songs. I love Johnny and June:
And here, playing in a prison! :)