Monday, April 30, 2012

Love notes and mommas

Saturday afternoon I thought my weekend was completely unredeemable. I was back to my indecisive, people-pleasing self. Yet it turns out everything is redeemable. I hope your weekend was as full of people and forgiveness as mine.

A sweet note from my fifth grade student on Friday
A cloudy Saturday afternoon in Lisbon
Handsome practicing our duet
Good Shepherd Sunday
"Know Your Momma" Lifeteen game we played at the youth group
I think this picture of the moms that participated is great!

Friday, April 27, 2012

The good shepherd who lays down his life...






Ficheiro:Good shepherd 02.jpg
Source
My favorite thoughts: 
  • He chose to be sacrificed on our behalf... and that distinction is really, really important. He talks about that this week in John. [as the good shepherd]
  • The mass at its most basic level is a sacrifice, and that sacrifice is active. 
  • Your very lives bear witness to whether or not Jesus is your cornerstone. Whether or not sacrifice is the way you live, service is the way you live. [...] And when you choose Christ and you choose to sacrifice with your own life, you choose others. And my brothers and my sisters, that's what we call a Church. The world might reject the cornerstone, we're building off of it. 

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Spring flowers

"A single gentle rain makes the grass many shades greener. So our prospects brighten on the influx of better thoughts. We should be blessed if we lived in the present always, and took advantage of every accident that befell us, like the grass which confesses the influence of the slightest dew that falls on it; and did not spend our time in atoning for the neglect of past opportunities, which we call doing our duty. We loiter in winter while it is already spring. In a pleasant spring morning all men's sins are forgiven."
(Walden, Henry David Thoreau, chapter on "spring")


My landlady's flowers. The ones above are the same as the ones pictured below... they  close at night!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Laughter and American flag heart earrings

Last night, my sister and I, plus her charming boyfriend (who really has become like a brother to me), went back to the fushion sushi place we went to last week. We stuffed our faces like little piggies, just like last time, and all agreed we had little sushi babies living in our bellies. It was pretty intense. Topics included soccer, my student's American flag heart earrings from Claire's (aaamazing... go Portuguese people that love America!), bulimia and hemorrhoids. I hadn't laughed like that in a while. 

Today, April 25th, is a national holiday here... the day Portugal had a peaceful revolution against the dictatorship in 1974. It's pretty cool because my parents actually participated in this revolution...!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Burned out

My weekend was off to a great start last Friday when I made Eggplant Parmigiana for the first time and it tasted like I was back in an Italian restaurant in the US of A! (based on Martha Stewart's recipe + parsley). And even though there were lots of great things that happened, including spending time downtown Lisbon (Bairro Alto) with my sister and a friend on Saturday night, I tired myself out. I'm officially a busy-a-holic. And because I started feeling sick, I've used that as an excuse to give in to laziness and do absolutely nothing yesterday and today. At least I'm feeling better...

Friday, April 20, 2012

3rd Sunday of Easter

This week's Sunday, Sunday, Sunday podcast:



My favorite thoughts from the podcast:
  • There's a lot more to learning than just the technique, you have to trust me. 
  • A lot of times because we don't have God's divine perspective, that we can't see that certain situations that are happening in our lives right now, that God is allowing to happen because he's trying to grow us, to refine us. Because he intends to use that virtue and that skill later in life. 
  • Whatever is happening to us today, God can use it for His glory, whether tomorrow or a few years from now. 
  • We were being prepared ahead of time for what happened to Jesus. 
  • It says he opened their mind to understand the Scriptures... He was trying to open them to a bigger perspective. 
  • By pointing back, He's actually encouraging them to go forward.
Caravaggio, 1901, Source

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Sushi and sisterhood

I know my life is going okay when I have time to have lunch with my sister and talk to her on the phone at night before bed...

And I know living in Portugal is going to be okay when I find I have fusion sushi walking-distance from my house! There aren't a lot of good Japanese restaurants here... and this is the first fusion Japanese we've seen. Sushi with cheese and rucola... who knew! We ate the all-you-can-eat buffet out of house and home, as we usually do... and just when we thought we couldn't eat anymore they brought out avocado-covered sushi.... WOW! It was an amazing experience. We discussed various theories on why we eat more than the typical Portuguese person and came to the conclusion that it's the type of food they eat here (meat, carbs, fried things, very few vegetables...) and lack of exercise/sports.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Closeness

If you've ever had a long-distance relationship of any kind, you know it's totally different (and preferable) to be with someone in person. Physical presence, even when you aren't doing anything, just hanging out, is different from talking on the phone, writing letters, etc. There's just something about closeness and touch you can't replace. We need it, it's good for you, it improves your mental health and in my opinion... all types of health!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Coffee dates

I love having coffee downtown with my friend Sofia. We have different views about many things... like girl baby names... but that's not what friendship is about. ;) 

Monday, April 16, 2012

My Sunday journeys home

Last night I walked home from the train station, a walk that I especially enjoyed, even though it was cold and windy. My Sunday evening journey home is usually bitter-sweet, I'm sad the weekend is over and to be coming home alone, but my heart is usually full, not only with weekend experiences but also because of my youth group and mass at my parish in Lisbon. The last four years at this parish have been full of opportunities for me to learn humility (translation: failure), conflict, hard work, giving of myself... but also forgiveness, friendship, family even (spiritual family), growth, adventure and especially communion.

Last night my heart felt especially "in communion" and full, and even though it was cold and windy, I was happy and at peace (except for the part of starting another work week of course... :o). Everything was quiet and so was I inside. It was a wonderful weekend. Hope your Divine Mercy Sunday was just as divine...! ;)

Friday, April 13, 2012

St. John of the Cross quotes

Did you know that Pope John Paul II learned Spanish so that he could read St. John of the Cross's poetry in the original? It's true. And with an introduction like that, how could you not read this saint and Church Doctor's writings? I finally got around to reading Dark Night of the Soul and, even though it was very dense and difficult to get through, not a page-turner like the other books I've read recently, it was amazing. I especially loved the part in his biography at the beginning that explained that the period of his life in which he was imprisoned and tortured by his own brothers was when he wrote his best poetry and he forgave them all afterwards. "When he refused to recant, he was imprisoned in a windowless cell. Three times a week they let him out to eat his daily meal of bread and water, after which he was whipped for his continuing obstinacy. He wrote some of his finest poetry during this imprisonment. After nine months, he broke out by scaling the walls and found refuge with nearby nuns."

This book was another confirmation of my recent revelation that saints' writings are a real TREASURE, far superior the millions of other books about religion/spirituality that exist (they have stood the test of time), and especially Catholics but also non-Catholics should read them! Here are some of my favorite quotes:

  • They are much too embarrassed to confess their sins nakedly, lest their confessors should think less of them, so they palliate them and make them appear less evil, and thus it is to excuse themselves rather than to accuse themselves that they go to confession. And sometimes they seek another confessor to tell the wrongs that they have done, so that their own confessor shall think they have done nothing wrong at all, but only good... Book I, Chapter II, #4
  • Many of these persons purpose to accomplish a great deal and make grand resolutions; yet, as they are not humble and have no misgivings about themselves, the more resolutions they make, the greater is their fall and the greater their annoyance, since they have not the patience to wait for that which God will give them when it pleases Him; this likewise is contrary to the spiritual meekness aforementioned, which cannot be wholly remedied save by the purgation of the dark night. I,V,3
  • This is to judge God very unworthily; they have not realized that the least of the benefits which come from this Most Holy Sacrament is that which concerns the senses; and that the invisible part of the grace that it bestows is much greater; for, in order that they may look at it with the eyes of faith, God oftentimes withholds from them these other consolations of sweetnesses of sense. I,VI,5
  • There is thus a great difference between aridity and lukewarmness, for lukewarmness consists in great weakness and remissness in the will and in the spirit, without solicitude as to serving God; whereas purgative aridity is ordinarily accompanied by solicitude, with care and grief, as I say, becasue the soul is not serving God. I,IX,3
  • ...it gives the soul an inclination and desire to be alone and in quietness, without being able to think of any particular thing or having the desire to do so. If those souls to whom this comes to pass knew how to be quiet at this time, and troubled not about performing any kind of action, whether inward or outward, neither had any anxiety about doing anything, then they would delicately experience this inward refreshment in that ease and freedom from care. I,IX,6
  • ...it is God Who is now working in the soul; He binds its interior faculties, and allows it not to cling to the understanding, nor to have delight in the will, nor to reason with the memory. For anything that the soul can do of its own accord at this time serves only, as we have said, to hinder inward peace and the work which God is accomplishing in the spirit by means of that aridity of sense. I,IX,7
  • For God sets them in this night only to prove them and to humble them, and to reform their desires, so that they go not nurturing in themselves a sinful gluttony in spiritual things. I,IX,9
  •  
    St. John of the Cross and
    St. Teresa of Avila... buddies.
    I love saints that were friends!
    
    The way in which they are to conduct themselves in this night of sense is to devote themselves not at all to reasoning and meditation, since this is not the time for it, but to allow the sould to remain in peace and quietness, although it may seem clear to them that they are doing nothing and are wasting their time, and although it may appear to them that it is because of their weakness that they have no desire in that state to think of anything. The truth is that they will be doing quite sufficient if they have patience and persevere in prayer without making any effort. What they must do is merely to leave the soul free and disencumbered and at rest from all knowledge and thought, troubling not themselves, in that state, about what they shall think or meditate upon, but contenting themselves with merely a peaceful and loving attentiveness toward God, and in being without anxiety, without the ability and without desire to have experience of Him or to perceive Him. I,XI,4
  • Other souls, which are weaker, God Himself accompanies, now appearing to them, now moving farther away, that He may exercise them in His love; for without such turnings away they would not learn to reach God. I,XIV, 5
  • It is meet, then, that the soul be first of all brought into emptiness and poverty of spirit and purged from all help, consolation and natural apprehension with respect to all things, both above and below. In this way, beign empty, it is able indeed to be poor in spirit and freed from the old man, in order to live that new and blessed life which is attained by means of this night, and which is that state of union with God. II,IX,4
  • It suffices for us here to know that, in order that the interior motions and acts of the soul may come to be moved by God divinely, they must first be darkened and put to sleep and hushed to rest natrually as touching all their capacity and operation, until they have no more strength. II,XVI,6
  • ...for the road of suffering is more secure and even more profitable than that of fruition and action... II,XVI,9
  • For this soul is now, as it were, undergoing a cure, in order that it may regain its health - its health being God Himself. II,XVI,10
  • Oh, miserable is the fortune of our life, which is lived in such great peril and wherein it is so difficult to find the truth! For that which is most clear and true is to us most dark and doubtful; wherefore, though it is the thing that is most needful for us, we flee from it. And that which gives us the greatest light and satisfactoin to our eyes we embrace and pursue, though it be the worst thing for us, and make us fall at every step. In what peril and fear does man live, since the very natural light of his eyes by which he has to guide himself is the first light that dazzles him and leads him astray on his road to God! And if he is to know with certainty by what road he travels, he must perforce keep his eyes closed and walk in darkness, that he may be secure from the enemies who inhabit his own house - that is, his senses and faculties. II,XVI,12

Thursday, April 12, 2012

A piano!


I had ten years of piano lessons growing up and after not having a piano for 7 and 1/2 years here in Portugal, I can finally practice at home! My prince in shining armor surprised me with a keyboard (which I had him return for one with a full set of keys... I'm a demanding princess). And I'm oh so happy to finally have a piano!

I came home late last night from work and played a little bit while drinking tea. It's like a good addiction, every now and then I feel like sitting down and playing a song. I can't wait to re-learn the songs I used to know and learn new ones... so that my friends can come and sing along!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

"Vocation is..." video

My friend from university made this great video called "Vocation is... a gift of God's love" in which many different people with different vocations answer the question "what is vocation?"

The first person that speaks is a girl from my parish youth group and at 0:59 my boyfriend and I make our star appearance saying, "Vocação é descobrir o amor de Cristo na relação com o outro” (Vocation is discovering the love of Christ in your relationship with the other). Enjoy! :)

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Easter in the North

This Easter was the first time I didn't visit my parents where they live :( but instead, I went up north with my boyfriend's family. We went to a tiny (as in... 30 houses) little village up high in the mountains. Like many villages in Portugal, there are a lot of toothless old people ;), but there is also a warm-heartedness and authenticity that you can't find anywhere in the city.

A card that crossed the Atlantic and I am always so happy to get
The view from my bedroom window

The house where I stayed

The kitchen window


An Easter tradition in the North, the cross goes from house to house and when it passes in your house you follow it to the next house. Here the entire village is out on the road.

A final blessing at the end...

Time to go home...!

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Happy Easter...!

I'm off to spend a few days in a place without internet access... which will be a welcome break. :)

I hope your Easter is filled with time, community and love. And mine too!

Here are some pictures of Daniel and I at a youth ministry diocese retreat two weeks ago...

PS And here is a post I wrote called "Is Being Single a Failure?"



Tuesday, April 03, 2012

What I've learned this Lent


This Lent my resolution to make it to daily mass failed with a big, fat, capital F. I didn't even come close. But... I tried! And as always, God surprised me and showed me things this Lent I wasn't expecting. Especially important were the youth group retreat about the Our Father and reading Mother Teresa's book. It was especially important for me to learn that life isn't about the earthly pleasures... and getting married and having the perfect family can seem like the perfect earthly pleasure to a lot of women, myself included. Earthly pleasures are just a preview of the eternal pleasure of total communion with God and others, heaven. And along the way, we're called to love and draw as many others into that love with us.

“As part of my Lenten practice, I do give something up, but it must be something I’ll be longing for with every part of me. When I have chosen the right sacrifice, these 40 days of Lent can seem like an eternity. Perhaps that’s why the single life can often feel like Lent: I feel that something is missing, something I truly desire and yearn for.
“I find myself waiting and hoping for a long period of time to come to an end.  … Unlike my Lenten sacrifice, which can be easily broken, the single life is not so easy to break if I want to experience what I am really looking for. The 40 days of Lent, like life, cannot be rushed if we are truly to appreciate and rejoice in a glorious Easter.” 
 
What I've learned this Lent:
 
♪ Life cannot be rushed God's plans cannot be rushed or even guessed I'm absolutely unable to stick to priorities I'm absolutely unable to succeed or get my life in order  The value of silence Friendship takes TIME Even the right decisions include thorns I'm a lot blinder than I think I can learn from everyone We need touch and physical closeness... to others and to God Suffering alone is the worst... suffering for another is a form of love, and a form of prayer God identifies Himself with the poor and that's a gift for us... to allow us to express our love for Him Love is patient  The value of close friendships The value of community How few things I really need Joy is a result of being loved and loving The most difficult type of poverty to satiate is loneliness
 

My amazing goddaughter, who teaches me
about unconditional love

Monday, April 02, 2012

A celebration of love

I went to the most beautiful wedding last Saturday. It was a little further north, in Coimbra. My favorite parts, other than the people of course, were how the mass was the most important, how the bride and groom came in with the priests in the procession, how laid-back and deep the homily was, the beautiful women's choir (that the bride usually sings in) and the general simplicity of it all!

These friends that got married are a real example of love for me. They have been dating for quite some time, but it is so obvious that they have really become a unit/one flesh and all through patience, chastity, perseverance, forgiveness, adaptation and true friendship. Hard work!