We try to listen to the Bible Geek every Sunday. He's great. Last Sunday he talked about how he was running up a hill, exercising that is, and passed a younger guy, which made him feel good about himself. Then a fifty or sixty-year-old lady whizzed by him and he felt it was God gently nudging him to be more humble.
That is totally reflecting my week. I have no idea what I'm doing. In life. I had a chance to re-do a presentation I did before Davy was born for that association it says I volunteer for on my sidebar. The first time around, I thought I was going to be PHENOMENAL... considering how my unique talent set and experience was perfect for the task at hand. But, my friends, I never fell so flat on my face in my life. I thought I would be able to just speak freely, improvising as I usually do, but when I got two or three sentences out I froze. I had nothing else left to say. It's terribly embarrassing to freeze in front of a group of people, even if it's a small group.
I re-did the presentation this week and it was better, but again only OK. And I realize that's ok! As long as I do my best and try to courageously do God's will in small things, I'm not supposed to be phenomenal. But yikes, it's tough being run-of-the-mill.
Same goes for parenting struggles this week. Davy is being a great baby and has started eating solids (yay!) (see pic above, eating a cooked carrot), but I still can't figure out how to meet his eating and sleeping needs. He always seems hungry or tired or just cranky for some unknown reason. I used to think I was a phenomenal mom when Adelaide was a baby. Now I'm thinking she was just a phenomenal baby (?). And I have no clue.
"Calm yourself, O Father. Don't pay any attention to these vain and useless fears. Fill the emptiness of your heart with an ardent love for Jesus. Humble yourself always beneath the powerful hand of God, always accepting the tribulations that he sends us with serentiy of spirit and humility of heart, so that when he comes to visit us he will exalt us by giving us his grace. Cast all your cares onto him, because he cares for us more than a mother cares for her baby."
- Inspiration From the Letters of Padre Pio: Words of Light, n. 303