The first days we were on our own without my husband I was a mess and crying every five minutes. But now I feel like we've been at it for a year. I no longer value sleep as much as I value getting showered and dressed before they get up in the morning. It's sheer survival. I now understand a post I read on lovetaza.com a long time ago when she only had two kids and wrote "dear mother of three at the park, how do you have your hair done?" I am much more productive as a mother of three than I was as a mother of two. And I need to be put together more too. I enlisted my husband's help to go buy some clothes and lipstick as an emergency outing. This is not because I am thriving... no, no we are barely surviving. I am like a refugee mother who wonders if her kids will have food to eat that day. But things do get easier... just a tiny bit each day.