...Addie playing stuffed animal "school" with a little friend that visited last week.
We were having a rough couple of weeks with a sudden increase in Addie's aggression/jealousy and my frustration/anger in dealing with it. It was terrible. The more I corrected her or chastised her, the more she would hit/kick/bite/throw things at/yell at her brother/friends/me.
It was like a spiral of aggression. Confronting her about it made it seem to get worse. I was dreading each day, filled with fear of what to do, hating having to reprimand all day, and feeling like we weren't going anywhere. Except upping the violence level.
Then I had this incredible epiphany. It was in part due to my husband's advice (he always has such great advice... single moms, how do you do it?!), my spiritual director's advice from a while ago and a blog post. The blog post was actually talking about facebook, but she was inspired by St. Francis of Assisi's prayer, "Where there is hatred let me bring your love, etc."
I realized I don't have to reprimand Addie. She's still small and most of her aggression was coming from being unable to deal with her emotions anyway. And "what you did to them you did to Me"... was I treating her as I'd treat Jesus?
So I started responding to any outbreak of aggression with a hug, a kiss, and a little prayer for Jesus to help her be gentle. And it's working. The aggression decreased almost to zero. And when it does happen, I don't get upset anymore. I feel like I have a plan, like I'm doing the right thing and like I have a long-term vision.
Sigh of relief.
I had just about decided we wouldn't celebrate thanksgiving this year... I was feeling it was a-great-idea-I-just-couldn't-quite-get-the-energy/time-do-to. But what is it about cooking this particular bird that gets me every time? I'm not sure. I don't even eat turkey!
So very last minute we decided to give it a go and we had people that live near us, including our parish priest, come over. It was soooooo worth it. It was wonderful. I made turkey, a pumpkin pie and chestnut puree and everyone else brought side dishes for the turkey. Turkey is surprisingly easy to make. It's just time consuming. I used this brine, then stuffed it with lemon, fresh thyme and onion, smeared it with butter all over and cooked it until it looked done. Next year I will get more professional and use an oven thermometer. ;)
I made everyone write down something they were thankful for and place it on a tree branch before we ate (see pic above). My favorites were the youngest kids' answers. What makes you really, really happy, I asked them. My two-year-old said "food" (!), a three-year-old said "laughter" and a five-year-old said "pictures".
After dinner I paraphrased and translated the book If You Sailed on the Mayflower in 1620, also for the second year in a row. I feel like I should get some kind of award for sharing American culture. ;) My favorite thanksgiving books are that one and also One Little, Two Little, Three Little Pilgrims for small children.
I used all plastic plates and silverware, but there was still a lot of clean up / headache the next day. Oh well. Still so, so worth it.
So, at the risk of sounding ridiculous, I feel like this white frosting recipe has revolutionized my life. There are those small things in life that are not really that important, but make life a little more beautiful, a little more delicious, a little easier. This white frosting is one of them.
I struggled with trying to make white frostings for a long time, but they all were butter or cream cheese based, which made them all turn out butter-tasting or off-white. Ther are times when you need a WHITE frosting. Not an off-white frosting. Like a baptism, for exemple. Or an oreo cookie. Or Christmas cupcakes you plan on sprinkling crushed candy canes on. (see pics below)
So you're welcome, here is the recipe.
1 cup sugar
1/3 cup water
2 egg whites
Halve, double, triple ingredients according to necessity. Combine them all in a small bowl that fits neatly on top of a small pot. Bring some water to a boil in the pot. Beat the ingredients with an electric mixer for about a minute. Then, over the boiling water, beat them some more for about seven minutes. See picture of me posing as Martha Stewart above. ;)
Enjoy!
"Today women's liberation is a popular discussion topic, and one of the big pushes within the movement is to encourage women to seek fulfillment outside the home. In fact, many articles claim motherhood is a myth or that a woman 'should' or 'must' seek fulfillment outside the home if she is to be happy, if she is to maintain a happy marriage, and so on. [...]
If we look at nature, we find that breastfeeding clearly defines who is responsible for the child. This is not to suggest that husbands shouldn't share in diaper changing, washing dishes while mother is nursing the baby, rocking or walking te baby to sleep when he doesn't want to nurse, and so on. It appears, however, that nature intends the mother to have the primary responsibility of baby care during the early years. [...]
What truly liberates the woman is natural or ecological breastfeeding. What she needs to be liberated fom today is the cultural pressure to use bottles, pacifiers, and baby food and to leave baby at home. She needs to be liberated from the hospital that 'owns' the baby, from the doctor who says, 'You do as I say or else,' from the relatives who fear she will starve the baby, and from a society that promotes working mothers and child-care centers, thus pressuring women to work even when it is not a financial necessity. She needs to be liberated from any pressure that contradicts her natural mother role. What she truly needs is support from the hospital, doctor, relatives and society."
- from Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing by Sheila Kippley, p. 72-73
PS I met a stay-at-home dad this year and it is AMAZING what he does. So this is not to say a man can't be a stay-at-home dad. It's just more natural for it to be the woman, of course.
PSS Thanks, Joana, I am enjoying the book!
