Breathtakingly beautiful

"Life is amazing. And then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful.” LR Knost

I have realized recently that some people look at me and my life and think we are perfect and living the dream life. Which in some ways I am... because children are a blessing and I have a few... but that doesn't mean I don't experience sadness, doubt, failure, anxiety, emptiness, anger, etc. just as much or more as the person next door... or the single person. I "press on" (St. Junipero Serra, ora pro nobis!) through a plethora of these and other negative feelings EVERY DAY. 

There is a culture that doesn't tell us the truth about life, marriage or family. It tells us marriage is about having a big, expensive party and "being happy" and if you don't feel happy, then "move on". And having a kid is like having an expensive pet. Make sure you have enough money for it! So you can dress it up and buy it expensive "development" classes. And so I think people think if you don't have those beautiful wedding pictures and baby pictures you can't be happy and you can't live the dream life. 

Nope. This is not heaven and this life is haaaaaaard. 

I experience a lot of this strife and I try to cling on to what I have learned is true and good and beautiful... breathtakingly beautiful.